“Ours is a culture that tends to assign value to a woman based on her sex appeal rather than her character, and that is something we must work to change.

– Rachel Held Evans

Woman empowerment is like a household name today in the world, especially for women who have decided to take charge of their lives, be Boss Ladies and live meaningful and purposeful lives; women who have decided to make their voices heard and not only be seen as pretty faces; women who understand the fact that they are not second-class citizens in a “man’s world” but they are their own person and would live as such.  

There was a time in my life when I was much younger, I actually wished I was a boy. It was about the time I actually wanted to be a nun. I didn’t get the support and approval from my family then and I was just plain angry. “Perhaps if I were a boy and wanted to become a Priest, I would be allowed”….or so I thought. 

Being a WOMAN is BAE

But there are some things that are not meant to be. It was a good thing I wasn’t allowed to go into the convent then because today, I realize that was not my actual calling.

My life has taken a turn for the best and now I understand that not every want or desire we have is ordained in the Divine plan. With the way I so tenaciously held on to my desire of being a nun, one would think if I didn’t become one, I would not live.

But God had other plans for me…… I still love and admire nuns today but if given the option to go into the convent now, I think I would politely turn it down. I have discovered my path after a long search and now I am happy and fulfilled.

The point of this whole story is that, at that time, I felt very uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn’t like my body and just wanted to be a boy. Now that I think of it though, if magic were real and I had gotten my wish, I wouldn’t have been at all happy because now I so value, love and appreciate myself and absolutely love the fact that I am a woman.

Sure, men are great but there is nothing like being a woman. She has her issues and all the pains and discomforts she has to go through – Menstrual cramps, child delivery, menopause, still being a woman has its perks and it is great.

Who she is, the make-up of her being, all about her is simply wonderfully fun, interesting and beautifully complicated.

But really, how distinctively different is a woman from man apart from physical and biological make-up?

The sexual difference between man and woman is much more than the physical though. As human beings, we are deeply sexual in our own ways of life – the way we see, feel, speak, think, understand, perceive etc. and even our own actions, depict our deep sexuality.

In the creation of woman, God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep and from a rib at his side, He fashioned woman. God created woman to be her own person; to be herself irrespective of the fact that she was created from man and for man. She has a spirit of her own; she has got her own soul; she has her own life.


She doesn’t breathe because man breathes. She breathes because she has got her own nostrils and air is freely given. She doesn’t live because man lives. She lives because God has given her right to life. She lives because God has commanded her to do so.

In her own way, irrespective of her role as a helpmeet and companion to man, she is her own independent person with her own freewill. She has the right and power to make decisions as it pleases her; she has the right to live her own life and not let another live it for her; she has a right to opinions, to her own thoughts, to her imaginations etc.

Just like man, her own soul will also stand in front of God to account for her own life. She was not created to lurk in the shadow of man all through her life. She is a living being with a mind of her own. The earlier man realizes she is an entity in itself, the better, more fruitful and more peaceful the coexistence between man and woman will be.

If man realizes this fact, his perception of woman will change and he will give her the respect and honor due her.

The world all over, we hear of “women empowerment” which stems from the realization on the part of woman, the truth of her own being. We live in a man’s world wherein man holds the keys of power and have seen woman as specie that should be domineered and subjugated.

This is a very wrong perception and thought that has fast become a rule for ages. As a result of it, woman has come to believe it and have lived their lives as second-class citizens of the world. This is so wrong.

She is a creation on her own with the sole purpose to be a helpmate and companion to man. In her desire to break free of the chains of marginalization and live a purposeful life, she never forgets her responsibility as the helpmeet and companion of man. Why does man often feel vulnerable in the face of the true reality of who a woman really is?

What fear do they harbor against the true person of woman in actuality? Without a woman, life will be just as boring and lonely for man. God saw this and gave woman as a gift to man. Gifts especially from loved ones are meant to be valued and cherished.

If man can value physical gifts given by fellow human beings, how much more a gift given by God which is an embodiment of grace, strength, in fact, the wholeness of God? In their distinct nature, man and woman are meant to complement each other; they are meant to coexist together in totality and fullness as the peak of God’s creation; to live in a world where mutual understanding, genuine love and care is fostered …… a real heaven on earth.

In seeing and accepting woman NOT AS objects or things for pleasure but as his better half, man has made a major conquest over himself. In recognizing and loving woman as she ought to be, as he loves himself, man has taken a major step forward in creating that world that is a bit closer to heaven.


Why is that? One may ask. The reason is that man would have defeated that yearning in him to be superior, domineering and intimidating and instead become more loving, understanding, caring which are some of the qualities that form his humanity.

In promoting women empowerment, man is supposed to take the lead in making woman believe again in herself – what and who she truly is. Why is that? You wonder. The reason is that man misled woman into thinking low of herself. Been a male-centered world, woman wasn’t given room to express and be herself. She was made to believe she is meant to be passive, sit at the background and just watch.

To change this, beginning from the grass root which is the family, man is meant to correct that notion and help woman discover again, who she really is, believe who she is and live as she ought to – as man’s companion, friend and helpmeet.

The ability to truly and deeply love and care for man doesn’t in any way make her weak. Woman is created with exceptional features which further scream uniqueness in her originality.

To this end, Dr Rosy Thampy in her book, Feminine Spirituality says, “The special characteristics of the woman is her wakefulness in nurturing life, her fortitude and insight that have come to her directly from God. A mother knows without being taught by anyone whether the cry of her baby is because of hunger, stomach pain or its need to sleep. This is known through her insight. Her ability to wait, to love, and to rejoice is part of this”.

The feminine power in woman does not in any way make her weak instead, there lies her strength for as Mandy Hale said, “Strong women don’t play victim, don’t make themselves look pitiful and don’t point fingers. They stand and deal”.


Nonetheless, the male-centered world today, uses these very abilities that makes woman special, to enslave her. Her ability to love, care, foster lives, man sees as weakness and uses them against her.

Woman has been so deluded that she has neglected this part of her from where stems her strength and who she really is and each day strives to be who she is not – unemotional, hard hearted, etc. and this is wrong on so many levels.

This is not how it ought to be. Woman is the soft side of man. Doubt it? It would be shocking to know that this feminine power is also in man as well. Huh? You wonder? Don’t be alarmed but let us reason it out together.

The feminine power in man is that side of him that knows how to love and nurture woman. It is the side of man that draws him to understand the nature of woman. It is the side of man that takes up the responsibility to safeguard woman. This side of man, most times he tends to suppress because he sees it as weakness and his egoistic pride refuses to have this side of him flourish.

What a totally wrong impression this is. It is this side of him that makes him strong. It is this side of him that makes him the man of every woman’s dream.

Man is not above or below woman but they are at each other’s side. They complement each other so much so that they are intertwined in each other and only together are they fully whole as God’s perfect creation.

That man is the head of woman doesn’t mean he is superior to her. For the fact that a bitter leaf plant is not as tall or big as the mango tree doesn’t make it less important or of an inferior value. As important as they both are, they serve different but yet significant purposes in the body and the body appreciates and values them both.


So while woman is not in a power or class struggle with man, it is imperative that man appreciates and respect the power in the spirit of woman thereby bringing to the society the good of this power for the benefit of all.

Woman wasn’t created to be a slave or servant to man. She was created to be his friend and companion. Gone are the days when woman remains quiet and passive in the affairs of life. She realizes now who she truly is; who she was born to be and with that purpose, she drives with determination to achieve it thereby living a life of fulfillment and satisfaction.

Woman has realized that she is not a shame to be hidden at the background anymore. She has realized that she is not a sin to be cast away nor is she hideous or scary to be pushed behind anymore.

She has realized that she has so much more to give than being a chef or home maker. Together with these roles, she can still give more of herself to the society and the world at large using her feminine power to make the world a better place.

 Dr Rosy Thampy again says, “The woman knows well how to deepen and bring creativity in whatever she puts her hand to. When the woman realizes the truth of her own being, the bloated ego of the man and his ignorance in wanting to rule over her will fizzle out”.


Just like the mother bear or mother lion goes all out to protect her cubs till they are grown enough to fend for themselves, so it is with woman. That special part of her that nurtures and fosters lives refuses her to again be quiet. She struggles to get involved in societal affairs just like she does in her own home in a bid to go all out and protect her children against hunger, diseases, etc.

Woman is preoccupied with life and she sees it as her responsibility to safeguard all. The fires of passion that blooms in a man differs greatly from that which blooms in a woman. So if man filled with passion, strives to achieve his purpose in life, why not woman?

Beautiful and exquisite ladies, discover yourself. You are meant to be so much more than you are. Refuse to think small. Think big. No one not even man has power over your mind. In your mind, you can dream out a world where you live a fulfilled, happy and satisfied life together with man and bring that dream into the real world.


Push yourself out of your comfort zone and strive to leave behind a positive legacy for others to follow. Someone once said, “I am eternally grateful to the women before me who fought for my rights”.

What is it that you can do that you will be remembered and thanked for long after you have departed this world? Why not live a life that will inspire people so much so that they would look at you and say, “Because of you, I didn’t give up”. Be the best of who you are. Don’t feel restrained or constrained. Break free from the ideology that it’s a man’s world.

You can find your feet and thrive in this very world. Live your life in such a great way that man would acknowledge that God and a good woman are the two finest things he can possibly have. You are fun, interesting, a jolly good fellow and most importantly, you are indispensable.

Live your life in such great way that man would realize that it was an error on his part to see you as an inferior and one to be subjugated. Let man see you and for the remainder of his life, give thanks to God for the wonderful gift he has received in you.

You are an angel. You are a princess. You are a queen. You are great. You are wonderful. You are a gift. You are a talent. You have superb capabilities and skills not possessed by any other. Remember as the quote says, “Real women are classy, strong, independent, loyal and lovable and one thing about them is they know they deserve better”.     


So at the end of the day, we realize that the “women empowerment” we go all out to proclaim must identify similarly, the feminine power inherent in man and woman and it must be promoted or nurtured as a way of life.

Placing woman on a pedestal of competition with man for power, is not what women empowerment is all about. Violence, insatiability, hostility, self-indulgence and the likes sadly characterizes the today’s world.

Woman, being easily gullible and relegated, will not survive in this world but allowing the light of the feminine power in both man and woman to be aroused and immensely surge, then we can experience a bit of heaven on earth.

Her mission is to be a companion, partner, friend and helpmeet of man. She is not striving to take control of the world. All she wants is her own space to live fully. She doesn’t want to be marginalized anymore nor does she want to be discriminated.

She wants to be accepted for who she is and for what she represents – femininity. She wants to be given a chance to play the roles assigned to her by God. She doesn’t want to be neglected, abandoned nor abused. She wants to be loved, appreciated and cared for just as she wishes to care, appreciate and love man. She wants to be free; she wants to be happy; she wants to be enough for man.

No more cheating! pic148

No more heartbreaks!

No more abuse!

She is a success and of great value and potential. Men love and respect her more. Women, love and value yourselves. The world would give to you what you give to it.

How do you add value to yourself? How do you show to the world that you are priceless and not even close to how cheap they see you? How have you used your power to transform your home and immediate environment?

I would love to read your comments in the box below.


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