HOW TO BE A TOP-NOTCH FANTABULOUS CHIC.

“Fantabulous Chic… Once she stands for a cause, the sounds of her stilettos echoes to the far ends of the earth that the world has no choice but to listen to her voice. Yes, she could be supple,flexible… but she is resilient. She is established.” – Omoakhuana Anthonia

So, the other day, I came across an article on stories of inspirational women and one exceptional one struck me. The headline read, “This Very Determined New Mom Took Her College Exam While in Labor”. “This, I must read”, I told myself and I sat down to read the very short but inspiring and amazing article.

I read the story over and over again and continuously stared at the picture of Tommitrise Collins in the hospital, wearing the hospital gown and with what looked like a BP cuff strapped around her upper arm. With her laptop in front of her, I am sure she was pushing aside every pain from the contraction as she took the test.

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I was in awe of her strength and her determination to have an “A” and all I could say was “She is amazing”. I could particularly relate to this story because of a similar experience of mine (and no, in case you are thinking it, I have never been in labor …….but soon anyways #smiles#).

I remember a time I was seriously ill in my 2nd year in the University. I was so sick that I could hardly walk and this was during our first semester exams. I took the first paper and my friends assisted me back to my room from the exam hall.

I had another paper to write the next day and I was determined to write it. I didn’t want an extra work load in the coming session  so I tried as best as I could to ignore the pains and focus on studying. My awesome and amazing friends, especially my cousin helped me study for my paper.

However, that night, my health took a turn for the worse and my parents had to come take me to the hospital. Well, when you have a big painful swelling on your lower back, specifically in the location of the last spine bone, I guess you figure that listening to the doctors would be the best bet.

But no, that wasn’t me. I wanted to go write my paper. I wasn’t going to miss the exam for anything. Oh well, that was just me talking as everyone knew I would not be able to write that exam…….at least not in that condition. I couldn’t stand or sit. I could only lie on my stomach.

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While in the hospital and in tears, with the possibility of missing the exam staring at me right in the face, I still studied. I had my books with me and amidst the tears and pain, I studied, hoping for a miracle of some sort that would at least relieve the pain a little and allow me go sit for my exam…… Well, that wasn’t to be. 

I wasn’t as fortunate as Tommitrise to take my paper in the hospital. Even if it could have been arranged, it was already very late. I couldn’t very well call my course adviser to alert him of my health status that late night and even if I did, I presumed the answer I would have gotten was to write the paper again in the next session.

And that was what happened. When I was all better and was back to school, with fierce determination, I wrote the other papers and by God’s grace I passed to my 3rd year. Though I had to retake this particular exam I missed, I sure did well in it too.

What am I saying in essence? It’s simple:

Just like Tommitrise Collins and I, I believe there are a lot of strong women out there who are also extremely dedicated to achieving their set goals and wouldn’t allow anything or anyone stand in the way. Education as can be seen in these two stories shared above is imperative in the drive to success.

No more would women sit back and be taken for granted or seen as second class citizens in this so-called “man’s world”. We are a resilient, enthusiastic, energetic, enlightened, resolute, entrepreneurial, empowered and enterprising bunch.

Though we are emotional and have our soft feminine side but from this side of us, our strength arises because like I say, “The emotions of a woman is also her show of strength. She should and never would apologize for it”.

We look to make a brand of ourselves and to show to the world that our worth doesn’t end in taking care of the home or doing just chores.

“I have thought a sufficient measure of civilization is the influence of good women” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

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We are a voice to be heard. We are a people to be celebrated. We are an awesome and an amazing lot. Beginning to sound like a woman activist, right? Well, until the world acknowledges gender equality and accepts that women are just as good in positions of power as are men, the dialogue goes on.

But hey, fantabulous chic, for all of these praises to take effect, we really must be all of it. Those days of settling for mediocrity are over. This is a generation of activity. For your voice to be heard, for you to be recognized, you really have to do much more than you are doing now.

You have to make a brand of yourself. You are a woman of talents. Remember how good you are at multi-tasking? While caring for the child, you do the chores, prepare meals, take care of the laundry, and attend to the “special needs” of hubby? Well, let all these now be apparent in your professional life.

Look deep within yourself and figure out those areas you really do excel in. Think fast and hard as this is not the time to sit at home and let your hubby be the ATM machine. Alice Walker said, “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any”.

The respect and self-worth you so desire from your husband and the world doesn’t magically appear. You have to work at it. Make your own contributions not just at the home front but also in your immediate community and the world at large. Carve a niche for yourself in the world and build an empire.

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You are super smart and intelligent. You are innovative and deep within, you have the capabilities of make a groundbreaking effect in the world. You are strong. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “A woman is like a tea bag –- you never known how strong she is until she gets in hot water”.

You can do this. Like a ripple, start small and watch the maximum effect you have on others. What is that talent you have so neglected because you felt it wouldn’t pay you? What is that gift you have that you think people would laugh at?

My dear, enough with the self-condemnation already. You are worth much more than you think. Stop listening to the voices that tell you any different. You just need to be an expert in that your desired area and you would see how it would turn your life around.

You wouldn’t be able to get over the amazement of the “new you” which would stem first from the joy of how much impact you have on other people and also that it is “you” making this great positive change in their lives.

Make that bold step, my dear and do this. Ruth Gordo puts it like this, “Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it by use”. Enough with the day-dreaming and start acting.

Do you love art? Do you love to work with your hands? Do you love to write? Do you love to sing? Do you love to work on automobiles and the likes? Huh? Did I hear you giggle? Oh no, babe, this isn’t funny. You can do this. Gone are those days when jobs are separated based on gender.

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Now everyone whether man or woman does any job. In my estate the other day, I noticed with pride in my heart a woman laying inter-locking tiles on the road.

She was the only woman amidst over 15 guys. She was just as active and agile as the men were. Except for her physique, you wouldn’t be able to differentiate her from the men.

Sweetheart, stop with the job separation crap, already. The same men you think are meant for some certain jobs are busy exploring the world of women as they continue to excel in hair making, makeup, fashion and the likes. And the irony of it is that most women feel more comfortable for men to do these things for them.

They have the impression that men are gentler and have a sharper eye for detail in these areas. I am in this school of thought and I feel it’s because Men put into use their feminine side and I don’t mean this in the sexist sense.

Women love to be complemented about their looks, personality and all that especially by their men. Men on the other hand, love it when their ladies look extremely good and if they see something out of place, say in their dress sense, they mention it and seek to correct it. Men take this side of them and put it into business because they figure they would do so much good there…… which truthfully, they do.

Now, if the men are exploring our world and excelling in them, why can’t we do same? Babes, do not ignore your talent. You equally have a masculine side to you. If you love to fly planes, then go do it.

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Bessie Coleman, was the first African American to get her pilot’s license in 1921. Lady Mary Bailey of Ireland earned her’s in 1926 and became the first woman to qualify for a “blind-flying” certificate (instrument rating).

Maya Angelou says, “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it”.

So darling, others have done it, why can’t you? If you would like to be a machinist or an artisan, my dear, go right ahead. Stop settling for commonplace. You are a boss lady. So think like one. Like that quote goes, “Act like a lady, think like a boss”.

You can get to any level you want to, so stop selling yourself short. After all, Hilary Clinton is contesting for presidency of the most powerful country in the world. You don’t hear her backing down because she is a woman and she is making waves with her victory especially after the First presidential election debate held recently.

So, you see, as the quote goes, “She who dares, WINS”.

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So, boss lady, whatever you do, be a professional in it. Educate yourself and excel in that area because again I quote, “It’s a beautiful thing when career and passion come together”.

You can be anything and anyone you want to be. Never you think otherwise or think less of yourself. Uh uh. You can rise above any standards set for you. You know why? Because, you are more than capable.

As for Tommitrise Collins whose story I shared above, She did make a “B” strong enough to guarantee an A-grade and she does have a beautiful baby girl named Tyler. (Source:http://tinyurl.com/j89kjs4)

So sweetie, I need you to start thinking like a boss lady and like this quote, say to any obstacle in your way, “Honey, I got heels higher than your standards”.

You go girl…… You absolutely rock.

Remain Dazzling, Dashing and Daring.

Thank you so much for reading this interesting article. I hope it gave you value for your time. Any thoughts? Comments?

Are you a fantabulous Chic? I would love to read your comments and contributions in the comment box below.

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