“The strength of a woman is not measured by the impact that all her hardships in life have had on her; but the strength of a woman is measured by the extent of her refusal to allow those hardships to dictate her and who she becomes.” ― C. JoyBell C.

We have all been through different challenges in life. We have been accosted with one issue or the other but still we survived; still those challenges didn’t see the end of us. We triumphed. We succeeded. We became victorious.

Like is the essence of any challenge, I have learnt from my struggles. I know who I am and what I am today because of the challenges I faced. I have been able to identify my talents and passions and doing them now, I couldn’t be happier or feel more fulfilled.

See, our challenges either make us or break us. We make the choice. We decide what the outcome is going to be. Life may have given us lemons, but it’s our choice to either make fresh sweet lemonade or suck dry the sour and harsh-tasting lemons.

Happiness, success, living a great life is all a choice.


Giving into life’s challenges, getting swallowed whole in misery and sadness, using our trials as an excuse to live a wicked, degrading and despicable life is just sad and heartbreaking.

“She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.”  ― Ariana Dancu

No matter what the circumstance, no matter how deep you think you are buried in the rut, no matter how many loads of crap have fallen on you……you alone can make the choice to survive and make the most out of your life.

Decide to turn your situation around. Your life is worth more than you know and as Mae West did say, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough”. The decision to be strong can only be made by you and no one else. The decision to overcome your challenges and make the most of your life is your choice. You have no excuse not to succeed in life because you hold the key to greatness.


She gives her all to her man. She builds her world around her man. She practically lives for him and then,  POOF!!!!!!! the relationship goes up in smoke. Her world shatters.

All her dreams, hopes and aspirations she built with her man are suddenly gone. She cries her eyes out. She beats herself up. She bites her lips and sometimes reels in regrets. “How could I have been so blind?” she laments “Why didn’t I see the handwriting on the wall?” “Why? Why? Why???” So many questions go through her mind and she cries some more.

Then, she summons courage to get up from her puddle of tears. She starts getting better and tries living her life again. Then she suddenly remembers all that had happened to her. She remembers the past she was trying to leave behind and her legs go all wobbly and back to ground zero she goes. She thinks she won’t be able to survive it. She thinks death would be an easier path to take.


Looking at her, you say she looks so happy, right? She has no worries; she is just free of burdens. She jumps all around, laughs heartily, catches fun, has a great time and you can’t help but somewhat “envy” her and wish “Oh! I want to be like her”.

You have no idea the pains she goes through on the inside of her neither do you understand how tired she is – tired of not being good enough; tired of things not working out well, tired of getting hurt; tired of life in general.

She masks all these up with smiles and laughter and you think she is the happiest person in the world. There lies her strength – not wanting to look weak and pathetic, not wanting to seek pity or attention. She bottles it all up. And there you are thinking to yourself, “See how happy she is. She’s got no problems”.  If only you knew……

But then reality kicks in……..


No matter how fragile and delicate a woman may look, it may shock you to fathom the amount of strength she possesses. Yes! One or two things may shake her to her very foundation; she may be so broken that one may think that is the end of her but Oh no! It is only temporal. She bounces back stronger than before. She learns from her experience, the pain makes her stronger.


No matter how shattered she is, she picks the pieces of her life, re-erects herself and becomes even more formidable.

John Steinbeck says, “I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man particularly if she happens to have love in her heart. I guess a loving woman is indestructible”.

And there! He nailed it! What makes a woman bounces back even after being through hell and back is LOVE.

This goes to show truly that love is the greatest power of all. Love broadens her mind; opens her understanding to see beyond whatever challenge she faces. She gets hurts, cries her eyes out at night but in the morning, she wears the brightest and most infectious smile one can ever imagine.

However, she loves everyone else and forgets to love herself.

After the inner struggles; after wetting her pillow with tears all night long; after it feels like her heart is going to burst because of pain, she struggles through it all. She realizes that other people’s opinions of her are not really her actuality. It is their thoughts and their words and they are ineffective and feeble unless she chooses to believe it.

She suddenly realizes that they never did walk in her shoes hence they have no right to direct her path. She makes up her mind and chooses to stop sulking and instead, let nothing hold her back. She realizes that she has a resilient spirit and she tries to make the best of the situation.


She finds that inner strength hidden deep within her and she gets up. She goes to the bathroom and washes her face. She looks at herself in the mirror and says:

“I am beautiful” “I am loving” “I am deserving of happiness” “I am a strong woman” “Heck, I have been through hell and back and I am still here” “ I am a survivor” “ I am not a quitter but a victor”.

Re-echoing John Steinbeck words, “A loving woman is indestructible”. What does it mean to be a strong woman?

  • She is one who is truly herself, loves herself and has a beautiful heart.
  • She is one who shows true love and compassion to all.
  • She is one who even though is not a mother, is already a mother as she takes all under her wings of love.
  • She is one who seeks for the best for her man.
  • She is one who understands her man and wishes to always make him happy.
  • She is one who makes it her sole goal to be the best wife and mother she can ever be.
  • She is one who concentrates in keeping a happy home.
  • She is one who loves and cares deeply for her man.
  • She is one who is warm and friendly.
  • She is a woman of substance
  • She is a woman who has charisma
  • She is a woman who believes in herself and her potentials.
  • She is a woman who strives to make a king out of her man.
  • She is a woman who desires the best for her family.
  • She is a woman of values and virtues.
  • She is a woman with lots of wonderful qualities but above all,
  • She is a woman who loves God.

A woman of strength goes into the battle field prepared. She may be injured but she is never defeated. She refuses to go down without a fight no matter how difficult and eventually she comes out victorious. No matter how much others try to put her down or make her think less of herself, she stands tall, firm and sturdy as a rock.

She says to herself in the words of Karen Hawkins, “I’ve often thought it unfair that women are expected to stay at home when there’s a fight to be won. If a woman has the strength to bear a child, she can swing a sword as well as any man.”

She refuses to be taken for granted because she knows her worth. She refuses to be a victim instead she chooses to be a survivor. No matter the bricks thrown at her, she collects them all and builds herself a steady foundation that cannot be shaken.

She may be talked down; she may be deceived that she is at the bottom of the food chain but she brushes these talks off with the air she blows from her mouth.


She shakes off these negative talks as though removing dust from her shoulders. She stays strong. She knows what she has been through but still she chooses to survive.

She suddenly becomes confident in herself and takes in the fact that those who talk her down have not walked in her shoes.

What right do they have to criticize her? Why should she give their opinion any thoughts or even consideration? She thinks to herself, as the quote says “How about they step into my shoes and walk the life I am living and if they get as far as I am, just maybe they will see how strong I am”. She realizes that this is her life and she chooses to be happy.

She knows who she is and all she has been through and yet she is a survivor. She says, “Enough!”. From here on out, I choose to be happy. Even though she is aware she has flaws, still she is super proud of herself.

A woman of strength is unstoppable. She is determined to make the best of herself and prove the world wrong that she is a second–class citizen in this so-called “Man’s world”. She believes strongly in herself and her potentials. She knows the stuff she is made of and strives to make a positive impact in the world.

She is a woman who believes in the magic of love. She is a woman who when she loves, does so with the whole of her being – body, heart and soul.


She overlooks all faults and still goes all-out to give her very best to the relationship but never you push her love and loyalty to the breaking point. Don’t test her.

Once she is way past caring,….once she no longer bothers about you,….you have lost your pillar of strength for good.

Sure, she loves and is real patient but once she severe the ties, she is done. She is a woman who fights her battles behind closed doors and still comes out with a beautiful smile.

Mandy Hale says, “Strong women don’t play victim, don’t make themselves look pitiful and don’t point fingers. They stand and deal”.

She realizes she is an independent woman and has the right to set the standards for her life and not necessarily go by what society says. She doesn’t regret who she is and is free spirited. She listens to her guts and is confident in her abilities.

She acknowledges her flaws and imperfections but still she is awesome. She appraises herself as overall good and strives to be better. She knows she can accomplish whatever she sets her mind to and giving up is not an option for her. She is not jealous of others. She is real proud of herself and loves herself greatly.

Now, who is this woman being spoken about? It is you and I, dear friend.

You have gone through so much and sometimes felt you wouldn’t survive it but you did at the end. You realized how strong you were and you fought to be a survivor and not a victim.


However, if you still don’t feel strong enough to rise up from your fall, I hope after reading this, you will have enough confidence to choose to live rather than give up.

I understand that it seems easier said than done and sometimes, you just can’t explain to anyone how you feel. But I need you to realize that the fact you are facing some challenges now doesn’t mean the end for you.

Joel Osteen says, “God will not allow anything to come into your life unless He has a purpose for it”. So sweetheart, do not give up just yet. You are much stronger than you think.

Someone said, “God never sends you into a situation alone. God goes before you. He stands beside you. He walks behind you. Whatever situation you have right now, be confident, God is with you”.

So, sweetie, wallow no more in self-pity. Just because you hit rock bottom doesn’t mean you have to remain there. Oh no! Life is too beautiful and too precious to waste in tears. No more weeping. Rise up and get moving.

Harvey Specter says, “Ever loved someone so much, you would do anything for them? Yeah, well, make that someone yourself and do whatever you want”.     

Count every moment of your life as a blessing and thank God for whatever experience you go through because it helps you get stronger. A wise one said, “Never blame anyone in your life. Good people give you happiness. Bad people give you experience. Worst people give you a lesson and best people give you memories”.

So you see that at the end, every moment counts whether good or bad. There’s always something to take home – either a blessing, lesson, or memories.


So no matter how difficult it gets, remain strong because really, that is all you can do. Remember that crying is never a weakness. It is good to cry.

Some say it is even therapeutic as it eases your mind and frees your inside. Heck! I too am of that school of thought. Being strong doesn’t mean you have to hold it all together at all times.

Sometimes, it’s a great idea to acknowledge your weakness as it goes to show you are human after all. You may be strong but the truth is no matter how strong you are, every now and then, you need that hug; you need to be doted on; you need someone to take your hand and say, “It is alright. It’s going to be fine”.

Acknowledging your weakness and the fact that there are some times, you just can’t help but break down and cry doesn’t in any way show that you are a weakling but on the contrary.

It shows your strength because it takes a strong person to acknowledge his/her weakness. One would be shocked at how much pain is enveloped in the heart of that woman that wears a wonderful smile and appears all bright and shiny each day. In no bid to deceive anyone, she wears the smile as a source of strength to herself and trying to keep it all together.

Someone once said, “A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets”. Unless she chooses to open up to another, you cannot decipher what a woman is thinking. So don’t always think she is so easy. She really never is.

Man has to pave his way into the heart of a woman and nest there if he is to become a part of her. To deal with a woman and to understand her, a truck load of patience is required.

Sameerah Shareef said “We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her view point of the world”.


Beautiful ladies, never for once doubt who you are and the stuff you are made of. You are wonderfully and beautifully made and there is none like you in the whole of the earth.

You are exceptional and great. Do all things with great love as it would please God and live your life to the fullest.

Never stop in your tracks! Never look back but keep going forward. There’s nothing to gain from the past except lessons learned to prepare you for a better future. You are awesome and inspiring. It is not easy been a woman yet you are living the life of one.

Never for once believe the lies that you are weak and not as strong as the male folks. As earlier said, muscle power is not the only source of strength. Look deep within you and you will be amazed at the amount of strength you possess and how you were so perfectly made to fit by the side of man.

Always love and respect man. Show genuine humility in all you do. As Saint Mother Teresa said, “Peace begins with a smile”. So always wear a smile no matter what.


So my dear, keep looking forward and march on bravely in this journey through life and as someone said, “If Cinderella went back to pick her shoe, she wouldn’t have become a princess”.

Your source of strength comes from no other but God. Hence, be sure to remain constantly connected with the heavens and continually draw strength from God.

Remain bold! Remain strong! Remain confident!

You are just as strong as you are beautiful.


Sweetie, YOU ROCK.

Thank you so much for reading this inspiring piece. I hope you found it enlightening and uplifting.

So, how strong are you as a woman? How challenging have your battles been and how did you survive them? I really would love to read your comments and contributions. Be sure to leave them in the comment box below.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *