“The smartest thing a man can do is the ability to love a woman. All beautiful things were born out of love towards a woman” – Maxim Gorky

Now this particular post is for the women but particularly directed to the men. So gorgeous ladies, do share this post with your husbands, boyfriends, colleagues …. in fact any guy you wish to truly love a woman honestly, beautifully and in all totality.

So yesterday, I celebrated my beautiful sis and her hubby as they marked their 15th wedding anniversary and I put a little write up in their honor on Instagram. Like I did say, 15 years of marital bliss is no child’s play. They had worked at it, fought through the hard times, enjoyed the beautiful times and they are still going at it. How did they do it? What was it that kept them together this long?

Sure you could say “What’s the big deal? I mean, people celebrate 25 years, 50 years of marital bliss so why are you making a fuss outta this?” The reason, my dear friend is no matter how many years of marital bliss even if it is only a year or even a few months, it is worth celebrating. It is a milestone for you as an individual and a couple.

Learning to tolerate another’s weaknesses and shortcomings as well as boosting their strengths is not a common thing in marriages these days. Every little issue now, is grounds for a divorce. Men see women as complicated (this would be a topic for another day). Women think that “women empowerment” is grounds to disrespect man and dominate him. Everyone keeps getting ahead of themselves.

So when as a couple, you are able to keep your calm and maintain your cool to allow room for your partners to thrive as the best of themselves, when you do not seek out for “what you have to gain” but for the happiness of your partner, when you overlook his/her flaws and capitalizes on his/her strengths, disagree in love, make up again in love, then every day of your lives, my dear is cause for a celebration.

As complicated as women are, how are they still lovable? Last evening I sat in my room, listening to the music selection in the R n B playlist on my phone and suddenly, this song came up “To love a woman” by Lionel Richie and Enrique Iglesias…… and I was singing away…..

And the part that got me chuckling was

Oh she can make your day

Oh she can take it away (take it all way)

And oh whether it’s wrong or right

You know it in the end you’d do it all again

To love a woman

Just to love a woman (uh huh)

Because a woman really can really make your day or break it. It’s not magic. It’s the power she has as a woman. This song is absolutely beautiful and I give big thumbs up to Lionel and Enrique any day as they did a great work summarizing how a woman can be loved. The gift of a woman’s love is an absolute treasure and it is absolutely priceless.

So wondering how to love a woman? I guess this quote gives a clear perspective “The best way to love a woman is not only by being her ‘boy’ friend, but also her ‘best’ friend” – Unknown

It is a known fact that guys are more logical than emotional but it doesn’t however mean they don’t have an emotional side just the way it is pretty obvious that women can be logical too. To handle a woman is really not rocket science. You just have to get in touch with your emotional side. Don’t be all stiff or rigid. She loves flexibility. She loves fluidity. It is her nature.

To truly love a woman, you have to involve your heart a great deal because she speaks with her heart……spoken and unspoken words….and it is only with your heart would you be able to understand her. With a woman, put your analytical side away and apply your emotions.

Women are wonderful emotional beings that put their hearts in anything they decide to do/love/get involved in. I admit she is a complicated being but I do say that is what makes her special and unique.

Loving a woman requires patience. You have to learn her, you have to understand her, you have to decide to love her wholeheartedly and not make her a project that you can toy with for a while until you get bored and decide you are done with her.

The true love of a beautiful woman is one of the greatest gifts to man but the honest truth is that it is rare so once you have it, treasure and cherish it because with the love of a woman, man is united with his soul and becomes the best of who he is meant to be.

Once a woman truly loves a man, all she sees is the good in him and how she can help him overcome his shortcomings and reach his highest potential. Her love for him makes his flaws hardly noticeable.

It would be so wrong for you as man to see her emotional side from where stems most of her strength as her weakness and then play her for a fool.

Just as much as she loves you, she expects you to love her too not because you are reciprocating her love for you but because you chose to; because you decided to love her. It is a choice you have to make freely and without reservations. A choice like this is what sees you through the hard times when you feel she is too complicated and difficult for you to understand.

Loving a woman is not at all for the thrill of the chase so that once you have gotten her, the love turns sour…..oh no….that is you doing it all wrong. This nice quote puts it this way, “A real man will never stop trying to show a woman how much she means to him even after he’s got her”.

A woman expects you to not only see her but to also hear her even in her silence. She gives all the tell-tale signs you need to know and understand her.

There is nothing a woman loves more than to feel like she is your world. She wants you to look at her as though she is the only one for you. She wants to feel that the world is all about you both even in the midst of the over 7 billion people on the planet.


Do not say she is too demanding or attention seeking……Uh Uh! She isn’t… least I can say the reasonable ones are not. She just loves love. In fact, let me make this a lot simpler….love a woman the way you want to be loved. You love been pampered, cared for, respected, understood, am I right? Love her just like that with more of your emotions in play….SIMPLE.

The joining together of man and woman in heart and soul brings about the completeness of creation. Mentally, psychologically, spiritually, emotionally and otherwise, they work together as one and this results in the greatest gift of all – LOVE and the beauty of creation can be seen.

Becoming one in no way speaks enmity, animosity, oppression or the likes. On the contrary, it is man loving woman in totality as he loves himself; it is man accepting the whole of woman and treating her as he does himself. There are cultures or groups that work to suppress the voice of woman and this isn’t right.

The stuff she is made of refuses to go down without a fight. Now, I do not speak of violence but a fight to live her life as intended by the Creator; a fight to live up to her potentials; a fight to maximize her abilities and impact positively on the world and not be shut out for the singular fact that she is a “woman”.

We are what we make our marriage out to be – a haven of bliss or a living hell. Words are very important. Knowingly or unknowingly, words we say make a huge impact on others either positively or negatively. Hence, someone asks, “If the words you spoke appeared on your skin, would you still be beautiful?”

Acceptance of each other as a better half; as a part of his/herself despite flaws and errs is taking a big leap into the path of true love.


I used to sometimes wonder why God could not have imprinted in the memory of man, a picture of his wife so that immediately he sees her, he will know her. Why do we have to go through the process of searching for the right one? We may wonder. Well, it would interest you to know that God did do this in a way but not as we would have expected. With God, it is not the physical eyes that matter but the eyes of the heart.

He may not have imprinted a photographic image but the heart knows. Remember it is from the rib guarding the heart that woman was formed? So the heart always knows. Someone once said, “The couples that are “meant to be” are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart and come out even stronger than they were before”.

Why would you. after walking the length and breadth of the earth searching for the right one, and you finally find her, then choose to make life uncomfortable for her just because you are the man? Why let the egoistic nature come to play in the circus of love?

Marriage is meant to be a blissful experience even in the midst of whatever storm. Just like fire and wind merges and causes a massive explosion, so it is when man and woman come together and are enveloped in the explosion of love all around them.

As much as their lives are entwined and interwoven in each other, sometimes, personal space is needed. Understanding is a key companion amongst the friends of love and it is needed for the sustenance of any relationship.

Man ought to realize that fighting woman is like fighting himself because she is the other half of him. She is not a slave, she is not the enemy. She is a gift; she is a treasure; she is a gem and must be cherished and protected.

She is gifted such great intuitive powers that even while humility is key in all her actions, so also is her fundamental right to freedom. Hers is also a voice to be heard. Her opinions or views of life should not be discarded. She was created for a purpose and that purpose she must fulfill.

The Omnipotent God; the all-knowing God, saw the value and importance of woman hence He created her and instituted the sacrament of marriage wherein man and woman together, can reach the entirety or totality of creation as their bodies, hearts and souls fuse together to become one and they live in paradise with one another.


Different people, though they are, different views and perceptions of life they have hence there is bound to be room for disagreements and all-what-not. However, they find a neutral ground to exist on as one so much so that even if there are disagreements, it is done in love, they still remain in that paradise and don’t ruin it with negative emotions such as anger, bitterness, hatred etc.

The greatest gift from God to man; from man to man; from man to woman; from woman to woman; from man to nature is TRUE AND PURE LOVE and this He reflected in the death of His son for us. All of creation was formed in love and in love we must live.

No matter the hurdles or obstacles, the true love shared between man and woman overcomes all odds. True love shared between two people can cause even water to come out of a rock. This is to say no matter the hitches, love always overcomes.

No matter how much change has occurred in the world; no matter how much development or technology in the world today, love forever remains constant and can never be altered. It may be silent but it is always there and is a respecter of neither time nor age.

True love between man and woman is one of the most beautiful experiences ever known. To truly love another; to truly love a woman is a feeling that cannot be expressed in words. It is a feeling better experienced for it to be understood. Loving another, changes one’s world and perception of things.

Loving another, in fact, falling in love with another is experiencing God in a realm so blissful and wonderful. It simply changes you that everything and anything suddenly becomes possible. The path of the beloved becomes illuminated by light from the soul.

No matter how daring any situation may be, no matter how big the mountain, you find that courage and belief that you would scale through because you are truly in love in a way as was intended by God and you begin to see with the eyes of God because God Himself is love. Loving another is living for that person – the person’s happiness becomes your happiness; the person’s pains becomes your pain.

If we critically look at it, we understand that we are not able to truly love another except loving in God and this is only accomplished when we allow the Spirit of God permeate us and dwell in us. This is because God Himself is love. In love, all of creation is beautiful.

There are neither discrepancies nor judgments. In love, man and woman come to live in their full and complete existence. In love, man and woman relive the Garden of Eden even in this painful and wicked world. In love, man and woman are not two but become one and they blend with nature, getting a better understanding of the lives we are born to live – a life of love.

The only thing that stops this insight or awareness from fully becoming reality, are vices like pride, envy, jealousy and the likes. Man refuses to let go of his pride; woman compounds the situation by trying to be superior forgetting that woman empowerment doesn’t have to do with overthrowing man but getting enlightened so as to be able to support man.


Man thinks, “She is beneath me. I am the head and therefore superior to her. She ought to know her place”.  Woman thinks, “How can I be obedient to man after all, we are equal. Yes! He is the head but that doesn’t make me his foot mat. I won’t tolerate it”.

Very wrong thoughts……

For love to exist, it does not walk alone. It brings along its faithful and most trusted companions – humility, loyalty, peace, trust, honesty, understanding, prayers, compassion and lots more.

Together, they sail on the sea of life on the ship called friendSHIP, and it could also be called companionSHIP, relationSHIP etc. so that no matter how turbulent the sea of life gets, both man and woman having love and its faithful companions will weather the storm.

Man cannot truly love woman with the intent of subduing her and making her dote on his every need likewise woman cannot truly love a man if she refuses to understand him or be submissive to him.

Truly loving another person surely has its perks. It has tentacles which spread to everybody hence truly loving one person invariably means loving everyone. Loving another helps one discover his/her real self.

In love, man and woman truly complement each other; they inspire and encourage each other. In love, man and woman grows to become the best of themselves without fear of competition or anything like that.

So how can a man love a woman? How can woman love a man? As strong as the heart is, it is also fragile and very delicate. Everyone deserves and craves to be loved; at least to be a special someone to another. Achieving this is not impossible if only man values the gift he has in a woman. Loving a woman means understanding and being patient enough to read in between the lines. Be attentive to her.

It takes understanding, friendship, honesty, trust, loyalty, faithfulness, prayer and so much more to understand a woman. It is not an impossible task. It is one of the beautiful experiences ever known to man because whatever makes a woman loves you in totality she gives you her all and seeks for nothing but your happiness.

Having understood all these, the qualities of woman that makes her unique and pleasing to man will blossom fully if man gives her the right environment to thrive. A woman is more than meets the eye.

Going through face book a long while ago, I came across a post I would like to share:

How to handle a woman

  • Don’t beat her
  • Don’t verbally abuse her
  • Don’t disrespect her
  • Don’t make her feel unloved
  • Don’t rape her
  • Don’t cheat on her
  • Don’t ignore her love languages.pic83
  • Give her kindness, she’ll give you love
  • Give her smiles, she’ll give you laughter
  • Give her your heart, she’ll give you her life
  • Give her a house, she’ll give you a home
  • Give her an idea, she’ll give you a plan
  • Give her sperm, she’ll give you babies.
  • Treat her like a queen, she’ll make you a king
  • Love her, and she’ll submit herself!
  • Sin against her and she will make your life miserable, good measure, pressed down and running over, she will send your soul to hell.

Hmmmmm! A woman is an angel, a devil, a lover, a worst nightmare, a friend, an enemy……… It all depends on how a man treats her. So guys pick your choice…. How you bring it is how you’ll get it.

Interesting post, isn’t it? The part that cracked me up was “Sin against her and she will make your life miserable, good measure, pressed down and running over, she will send your soul to hell”…..Lol……

I guess that is why they say woman is really complicated. She could be all sweet and gentle and the next minute, she could be like one’s worst nightmare. I can’t stop giggling. The truth remains that man and woman were created for each other.

The orientation of man that woman is to be a subordinate likewise the mind set of woman that they can be superior to man are ABSOLUTELY WRONG opinions. Man and woman are created to be one. I reiterate again that woman wasn’t created from the head of man to be superior or from his feet to be underneath him but from his side to be equal to him.

They were created to complement each other and only when they see and accept themselves as this; only when this is achieved can man or woman proudly say, “Completeness is attained”. Created from his side, woman is not a rival but his better half. So man should stop seeking to suppress the fire of energy that burns in woman.

Instead, he should kindle the fire in her more because only when her love is constantly fanned to flame would the best of her come forth and it would reflect on man by extension.

Have you ever experienced true love from a man or woman? What was or what has your experience been like? I would love to hear from you. Please be sure to leave your comments and contributions in the comment box below.

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